Who Told You That You Can’t Have Joy Right Now?

No one benefits when you dim your light.

hi friends,

January felt like 37 years, but we made it.

And not only did we make it, but some of us are actually… happy? Thriving? Feeling phenomenal? And yet, there’s this lingering thought: Am I allowed to be happy right now?

The world is on fire—metaphorically and, in some places, literally. People are suffering. Systems are breaking down. Planes are crashing. You don’t have to look far to find fear, grief, and loss. So when someone asks, “How are you?” the socially acceptable response today seems to be, “Well, you know, everything is terrible.”

But what if that’s not your truth?

What if, in the midst of all of this, you’re actually in a season of clarity? What if you’ve been doing the work—healing, building, becoming—and it’s paying off? What if you’re experiencing the joy of stepping into who you’re meant to be? Do you shrink it? Downplay it? Pretend to be just as overwhelmed so no one feels bad?

Or do you, like

Kevin Stuckey

, just tell the truth?

Kevin was on a call with someone who was exhausted—stretched thin by work, parenting, the state of the world. She unloaded it all, then asked him how he was. And he said, “I’m doing phenomenal.” I remember overhearing that and thinking, Wow, that’s awkward. But was it? He wasn’t being dismissive or insensitive—he was just being honest. And maybe that was the light she needed in the darkness. Because don’t we all need reminders that life is still good? That joy is still real?

We need more of that. Because joy is not ignorance. Joy is not avoidance. Joy is resistance.

Don’t sink to the level of suffering—rise to the level of your joy.

There is a way to hold space for suffering without becoming a slave to it. We are meant to feel deeply for one another. But that doesn’t mean we have to carry every burden as our own or sacrifice our own joy at the altar of empathy. Everyone can’t turn the lights off—we can hold space for both. The weight of the world is heavy—but what if our joy is part of what lifts it?

Here are some ways you can be present for people without dimming your joy:

• Listen deeply without absorbing their burdens.

• Offer solutions or encouragement where possible.

• Be honest about your own joy—it might be the reminder they need.

• Pray for them, but don’t take on the weight of their suffering as your own.

A place with no hope makes everybody sick.

Jesus modeled this beautifully. In the middle of a violent storm, while His disciples panicked, He was asleep. Not because He didn’t care, but because He knew who was in control. And when He woke, He didn’t match their fear—He calmed the storm. (Mark 4:39) Peace, be still.

So let’s reframe this: what if your joy is actually needed? What if your thriving, your celebration, your expression of greatness is part of how we all heal? What if joy is a sign that you know who has the last word?

What’s important is to know what your work is and get locked into that. While you are becoming an answer to a problem, you can still have joy.

There are still many things to celebrate. Had a friend get married this weekend and my other close friends just welcomed a baby early this morning. Beyoncé just announced the Cowboy Carter tour, and for many, that’s an answered prayer. The Grammys are still moving forward, choosing to create a night of celebration and giving. Black people, throughout history, have found ways to laugh in the midst of pain—not because we don’t acknowledge the struggle, but because we refuse to let it steal our spirit. There are still miracles happening all around us.

My dad used to tell me, never let anyone take your joy. And that’s my hope for you. The world will try. Fear will try. Guilt will try. But your joy is yours. It’s a gift from God. And it’s okay to hold onto it, even now. Especially now.

Happy Cowboy Carter day to all who celebrate.

sending you so much love wherever you are,

m