Who’s Your One?
find the one(s) who can handle the weight of your greatness—and let the rest go.
Hi friends,
Happy Kendrick Lamar halftime show day to those who celebrate. This is my favorite kind of Super Bowl… two Black quarterbacks on the brink of history, no matter who wins. One of the greatest rappers of our time about to perform on the biggest stage, including his Grammy-award-winning diss track, Not Like Us.
I am obsessed with greatness. Studying it. Observing it. Watching it unfold in real-time. If you know me, you know that the Netflix sports doc slate is my go-to. I’ve watched The Last Dance 87 times and love the series Quarterback — specifically getting to see Patrick Mahomes express his greatness.
“His circle rarely expands. If anything, it has constricted over time.”
One thing I’ve noticed about the greats: their circle? Tiny. Patrick Mahomes was just on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and he’s quoted as saying that as he becomes more successful, “his circle rarely expands. If anything, it has constricted over time.”
And it reminded me of something I’ve been sitting with this week—you can’t become great in a crowd.
You Can’t Become in a Crowd
The crowd is loud. It’s full of opinions, noise, and distractions. And if you’re always tuned into everyone else’s voices, you’ll never hear your own. Greatness doesn’t thrive in the chaos of constant opinions—it grows in spaces of clarity, intention, and trust.
You need one person who can handle the weight of your greatness—and the mess that comes with it.
The one who sees you—not just the curated, polished version—but the raw, unfiltered, sometimes-falling-apart you. The one who never flinches when the mask slips, who stays when things get messy.
If you’ve got that person, you already know their worth can’t be measured.
If you don’t… maybe that’s why you’re feeling stretched thin.
Because here’s the truth: You don’t need to exhaust yourself explaining your heart to people who’ve already decided who you are. You just need one.
When Vulnerability Meets Judgment
A friend of mine posted something this week that was really vulnerable about how he was feeling with everything going on politically. It was honest. Super raw. And someone he knew came at him—hard. No curiosity. No questions. Just assumptions and judgment.
He wasn’t angry—he was just sad. Because when you risk sharing your heart, what you’re really hoping for is to be seen, not picked apart.
And that’s why knowing who your “one” is matters. When you’re clear on who holds space for you, you stop trying to be understood by everyone else. You stop people-pleasing. You stop explaining yourself to folks who don’t even want to understand.
Because the only voices that matter? They come from the ones who’ve earned their place in your life. And those voices? They’re few—and that’s how it should be.
The Illusion of Safety in Hiding
I’ve been on the other side too—where hiding felt safer than connection. When the world felt too heavy, and disappearing seemed easier than risking rejection. I convinced myself that isolation was protection.
But hiding doesn’t protect you—it just traps you.
What pulled me out? The true safety of a couple people. I’m very blessed to have a couple (and i mean a couple) people in my life that really see me and hold the depth of everything I am. The people who let me show up raw, confused, messy—without trying to fix me. The ones who didn’t need me to be ‘okay’ to love me. The ones I could be naked and unashamed with. The ones I wasn’t “too much” for.
You don’t need everyone to get you—you just need one person who does.
We All Need That Rock
Jalen Hurts said it best this week during a pre game press conference when he thanked his fiancée, Bry (congrats sis 😩): “Thank you for the support. Thank you for the love. And thank you for being the rock that I can lean on.”
We all need that rock.
Especially now—when the world feels like it’s spinning off its axis. When the noise is too loud, and the ground feels shaky. Our emotional, spiritual, and psychological safety is under attack from all sides. But that doesn’t mean we shut everyone out. It means we find the right ones to let in.
And sometimes, those people change with the seasons. The person who was your anchor last year might not be the same now—and that’s okay. Seasons shift, and so do the people who hold space for us. What matters is that you’re not walking through this life alone.
How to Know You’ve Found Your One
It wasn’t until I had safety in friendships that I realized what I was missing. This is by no means a definitive list, but here’s some questions you’ve found your one:
Are you showing up as your truest self—no masks, no pretending, ever?
Can you open up without bracing for judgment?
Is your bond built on honesty and depth, not perfection?
Are your flaws seen, and are you still loved?
Are they content with their journey, not racing to keep up with anyone else’s?
Do they pour into and add perspective to your dreams, desires, or do they center themselves?
If you don’t have that right now, that’s the work. Not gathering more followers or surface-level friends—but finding the one who can hold space for your greatness.
And if you only remember one thing from this: One is enough.
One Is Enough
So, who’s your one?
If you know, text them. Call them. Thank them. Love them hard.
If you don’t… maybe that’s the prayer right now. Because you weren’t designed to walk this out alone. Your greatness wasn’t meant to be hidden. It was meant to be seen, nurtured, and fully expressed.
And if someone can’t handle that? They not like us.
sending you so much love wherever you are,
m