Burnout Isn’t Our Calling

Reclaiming My Life Through a Rest Ethic

This week, someone sent me a New York Times article about Black women and our relationship to rest post-election. I read it carefully, underlining lines like:

“Black women often present an image of strength, even when we don’t feel strong.”

It hit me like a gut punch.

Because I know this pressure too well. The expectation to carry it all. To show up. To mold yourself into whatever version of “strong” the world demands that day.

The election has been a trigger for many people to reevaluate their relationship to rest. This is also the time of year when the fatigue and exhaustion really start to set in. This is the time of year we start to question our decisions, our lifestyle and if we’re doing the right thing, in the right role or if the top 2025 is going to the year where everything changes.

For years, I carried the weight of work, family, relationships, and sometimes the world itself. I was the fixer. The doer. The one who made it happen. And yes, there was pride in that—being capable feels good. Being needed feels even better.

But what I know for sure (word to OW): The glamorization of hustle is evil. Another way to keep us in bondage, enslaved and too tired to take what’s ours and make meaningful progress. Burnout is robbing us of our birthright. The grind is a liar. It whispers that you’re unstoppable, even as it slowly steals your energy, your creativity, and your joy.

The Collapse

Burnout is the physical, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion caused by overwork, stress, and a lack of rest or connection to God. Burnout says, “keep going, keep pushing, carry it on your back, all by yourself.”

For me I’ve been carrying things in my own strength my whole life and after 14-15 years of living this way, it all started to unravel in 2019…

2019: Things started to feel off— cracks in the foundation.
2020: The pandemic hit, and my personal chaos mirrored the world’s chaos.
2021: I was hanging on by a thread.
2022: Everything finally collapsed.

I was exhausted in every sense of the word. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. Like so many women—especially Black women—I had internalized the belief that my worth was tied to how much I could carry.

That’s when my dear friend Kevin Stuckey stepped into the story.

Kevin is a fellow burnout survivor, and when I was at my lowest, we made a commitment to each other: We were going to rebuild our lives on a better foundation.

We both wanted to become the best work of our lives—not just in what we do, but in who we are. Kevin has since emerged as a leader and voice on rest. He’s a burnout coach and an expert in spiritual and work recovery, helping others heal and reclaim their lives through his work with the rest ethic. He’s also one of the people who challenged me to take rest seriously.

One day, he asked me a question I’ll never forget:

“Do you have a rhythm of rest?”

I laughed. I laughed so hard I cried. A rhythm? Of rest? Those may have been the most foreign combination of words I’ve ever heard. 

Then Kevin said something that stopped me in my tracks:
“God rests. God—who literally created the universe —rests. What makes you think you can’t?”

I stopped laughing.

God’s Rest Ethic

For me, the Bible is the best blueprint as a guide that reveals our purpose, patterns, and God’s promises for our lives. It is not a religious text for me, it’s the wisest book ever written. It’s a book where we learn God’s original intent for our lives.

(I’m aware that people have taken this book to use it to keep people oppressed and away from God. If that has happened to you, I’m deeply sorry. )  

In the very first story of the Bible, God creates the heavens and the earth. For six days, He speaks galaxies into existence, separates land from water, and fills the earth with life. And then, on the seventh day, He rests.

God doesn’t rest because He’s tired or burned out. He rests to model something for us. Rest isn’t the absence of work—it’s the completion of it.

The rhythm of creation itself includes rest.  If God—the Creator of the universe—rests, why do we think we’re above it?

A Work Ethic vs. A Rest Ethic

Nearly 70% of us are burned out. 

Most of us are living by a work ethic and here’s what it looks like:

Create, create, work, work, give, give, collapse. Create, create, work, work, give, give, burnout. 

A work ethic says you have to earn your rest. It makes rest feel like an escape—something you do only when you’ve already crashed.

When you live by a work ethic:

• You lose creativity.

• You live in survival mode.

• You feel disconnected from yourself and others.

• Your body eventually breaks down.

But a rest ethic is different.  A rest ethic says you work from rest, not for rest. It’s a rhythm, not a reaction:

Rest, create work, give. Rest, create, work, give. Rest, create, work, give. 

When you live by a rest ethic, rest isn’t an escape—it’s the foundation. when you live by a rest ethic:

• You work from a place of abundance.

• You gain clarity and creativity.

• You feel reconnected to your purpose.

• You build a life you can sustain.

Relearning Rest

Rebuilding my life meant unlearning everything I thought I knew about rest.

For years, I found joy in the grind. I loved the feeling of being productive, of accomplishing things. I was a mom, a wife, a leader, an advocate—and I was good at it. But I was running on borrowed time.

Rest felt indulgent. Irresponsible. Like something I had to earn.

But I’ve learned that rest isn’t an escape from life. It’s not something you do when you’ve hit rock bottom. Rest is the foundation for life. It’s what allows you to create, build, and show up for the people you love.

Now, rest is central to my life.

I observe a weekly Sabbath from 6 p.m. Friday to 6 p.m. Saturday, resting from working, wanting, and worrying. For 24 hours, I step away from the grind, from the endless mental lists, and from the need to always be “on.” It’s a sacred time to reflect, replenish, and realign.

I’ve also added a midweek rest day—a “mini Sabbath” that allows me to creatively recharge. It’s not indulgent; it’s essential. These rhythms of rest have become the fuel that sustains me.

I’m accomplishing more today than I did in my old patterns. The work is better. The energy is there. The creativity is flowing. I’m more patient, kind, and compassionate. More curious and thoughtful.  Working in flow instead of against it. Most importantly there’s much, much, much more joy.  I feel like I could sustain this way of living for the rest of my life and I NEVER felt that before. It always felt like it wasn’t sustainable.

I see how other people in my life are responding to burnout. Some are pushing through. Some are receding. Others are in pursuit of the “soft life.” None of those feel like a long term solution. They are bandaids for a problem that’s deeper and structural.

To exist on earth means we will exist in a world that is dark. The Bible (and all other sacred texts) never promises us a life without struggle or suffering. It promises us the tools to endure it. And rest is one of those tools. A rhythm of rest allows us to sustain the life we’re building—not by avoiding the hard parts, but by giving us the strength to face them.

The Big Call on Our Lives

We were all made for something big. Something significant.

There’s a call on all of our lives. We weren’t put here just to get through the day or to scrape by. We were put here to leave the world better than we found it. We each have a unique design and dominion.

We came to be a generational blessing. The desire you feel—to serve, to create, to build, to provide more for your family and your children’s children—that’s a God-given desire. It’s holy.

But here’s the truth: You can’t answer that call if you’re running on empty.
You can’t leave a legacy if you’re burned out.

Rest isn’t a retreat from your purpose; it’s what allows you to fulfill it.

Why Rest is Essential for Leaders

Work is shaping your life. We spend 70% of our time there, so if work is exhausting, your life will be too. Burnout is birthed at work.

As leaders, we set the tone. Our teams watch what we do and follow suit—whether we realize it or not.

That’s why rest is non-negotiable. It’s not just a personal practice; it’s a leadership responsibility and mandate.

At my company, we’ve made rest a norm. We’ve decided that every month, my team gets mandatory rest days. These aren’t sick days or vacation days—they’re days to pause, reflect, and replenish. Because I believe this: Rest isn’t just good for people. It’s good for business.

5 Ways to Start Living By a Rest Ethic

1. Follow God’s Model. Rest isn’t optional; it’s built into the rhythm of creation.

2. Schedule Rest Like You Schedule Work. Rest doesn’t just happen—you have to make time for it.

3. Reframe Rest as Productive. Rest isn’t laziness. It’s what makes great work possible.

4. Normalize Rest in Your Culture. If you’re a leader, show your team it’s okay to rest by doing it yourself.

5. Protect Rest Like It’s Sacred. Because it is.

Rest is an act of faith.

A rest ethic is not about laziness or less. It actually builds your capacity for more.
Rest isn’t the opposite of work—it’s what makes good work possible.

If you’re burned out, exhausted, or hanging on by a thread, hear me: You don’t have to earn your rest. You’re not built to burnout. Your God-given rest is waiting for you. 

Sending you so much love,
m