What’s up, guys? I missed you last week. It was the last week of the month, and I’m still adjusting to this new rhythm—writing newsletters, recording podcasts, and really just building a system around this. But I’ve also been reflecting on the idea of the rest ethic and what it really means to me—what I want you to receive as a result of me sharing every week.
Sometimes, I feel it comes more naturally to speak than to write, and honestly, writing can sometimes get in the way of what I want to say. So I’m trying something different—just speaking to you about what’s been on my mind.
Who Do I Serve?
A conversation that stood out this week was the one I’ve been having with myself: Who do I really serve?
As part of the becoming practice—by the way, if you haven’t checked out Maya’s Substack on creating your becoming statement, it’s probably the most important thing you can do to really understand and get the most out of being a part of this community. It helps you see where we’re leading you, where we’re guiding you.
One of the key parts of the becoming statement is the phrase for those of us… And I’ve been sitting with that—because understanding who we serve is crucial. It requires us to get in touch with our own pain—the pain that shaped us, the pain that gives birth to why we serve who we serve.
Why Rest?
So I started asking myself: Why rest?
Not just on the surface level, but deeper—what actually led me to burnout, twice?
And what felt true as I explored that question was this: I spent so much of my life living a divided life.
When you live a divided life, it takes more energy. More effort. More weight.
For me, that divided life looked like the tension between what I felt I could or couldn’t bring into my work and my environments—specifically, my faith. It also showed up in how I created separate worlds—one for my identity and experiences in the gay community, another for my family and spiritual communities.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was exhausting. It’s like someone juggling multiple relationships, trying to show up authentically in each, but because none of them are connected, it takes so much more effort to maintain.
Rest is Wholeness
What became clear to me this week is that I didn’t just become passionate about rest because I burned out. I became passionate about it because I was tired of living a divided life.
A life where I couldn’t bring my whole self into every space.
This past year has been a journey of reclaiming that power—of gathering all these “selves” I had scattered and bringing them into one place. Bringing them together for a conversation. And in that conversation, realizing that only one person is leaving the room.
That one person has to be the truest version of me.
That is rest.
Not carrying the weight of these separate identities. Not needing to hide—or at least, realizing that hiding takes work.
I could go deeper into fear, rejection, and all the things that caused me to divide my life in the first place. But today, I just want to leave you with a question:
Where am I living a divided life?
And as a continuation on that - what kind of rest might be available to me if the one version of me that showed up is who I’m becoming?
That’s it. I hope you have a great, restful weekend. Talk to you next week.
Kevin
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